Mother’s Day. That holiday celebrated every Spring across the USA. The culmination of weeks of guilt inducing commercials brought to you by every strip mall jeweler, tchotchke dealer and that grand-daddy of them all – FTD. If you love your mother…pay up.
The mothers of little ones have it made. I’m not talking about vertically challenged 20 year olds here, I’m talking about the under 10 set. They are cute and innocent enough to say “I love you” and not follow it up with “Can I have 20 bucks.” Mother’s day still has that level of genuine joy where a tracing of their hand decorated to look like a flower is the best gift ever. The problem is they get older.
When your little ones are no longer little – that is where you walk the line of being glad they took the time to get you a gift while simultaneously dealing with the fact they used your credit card to complete the transaction. My personal favorite is the “Proud (Insert college name) Mom” sweatshirt that was on clearance (see mom I’m responsible with money) but charged to my card (well you didn’t think I actually had any money did you)?
Bottom line is this – here is the secret – this is what every mom wants – ready??? To be left alone! Just give us a few glorious hours without our children chirping like baby birds “Ma,ma,ma,.” You all know exactly what I’m talking about. That constant refrain from the need machines that we created during our stupider years. Don’t make that face – we are all in the same boat here. We grew up with Family Ties and The Cosby Show. The biggest problem they faced was that Alex P. Keaton couldn’t find his blazer before the big debate or Rudy stole Vanessa’s favorite headband. We were fed lies I tell you – Lies!
No one warned us that real motherhood was a never ending carousel of drama: medical emergencies, clothing emergencies, forgotten lunches, forgotten homework, parent teacher meetings, finals weeks, and sporting events. Each one of these DefCon 5 moments, while manageable on their own – never occur on their own – these disasters are like onions – they have layers. And they smell and sometimes make you cry. Real motherhood is the learned but never perfected skill of juggling while riding a unicycle – but only if the unicycle tire is just this side of flat.
Pioneer moms circled the wagons and sent the kids to play in a field. Moms of the 1950’s taught little Johnny how to shake up a killer martini while little Suzie ran out for a pack of Lucky Strikes. The moms of the 1970’s problem solved with Tupperware parties, Jello molds and group hugs. Today we have Starbucks, Facebook and Spin class. Just hold it together – we will get through it.
I guess that is really the hardest part of all – that one day your work is done. And then you realize that it wasn’t that bad – that all those “teaching moments” helped you grow as much as they helped your kids grow. That you didn’t mind driving a used car because the post-braces smiles are worth every penny. That knowing you sent them out into the world with confidence and a desire to achieve makes the late night trips to the ER just a part of the larger plan. So today moms – here is my challenge – try, TRY, to just ignore the bickering and the dirty socks – just enjoy your kids. And take comfort in the fact that one day – if you are lucky – they will have a little one just like them.
Chapstick in the Dryer 