SO – for those of you wondering where I have been – Why haven’t I posted when there is obviously so much in the world to talk about? The answer my friends is simple. The issue is obvious. The question is where to start? I sense that this will be the first of a series of posts as we as a people, nation and family work our way through this time. I think it best if I use this platform to share my observations. Feel free to comment or discuss among yourselves.
1) People are given to panic and drama. That’s not the interesting part. If any of you are of Irish, Jewish or Italian decent – and knew your grandparents- panic and drama is just how we get through the day. This is the interesting part : When in a dramatic panic apparently the items needed to survive Armageddon consist mainly of toilet paper, bottled water and dry pasta. What do we learn here? That individuals with spastic bowels have a very sensitive palate and only know how to boil their food.
2) All of a sudden everyone has a degree in epidemiology with a minor in sanitation services. Yes, even the grimiest of individuals suddenly want to bathe in hand sanitizer and dry off with Clorox wipes. PSA here people – human skin was not meant to be cleaned with bleach wipes. For all of you out there saying “I cant understand why my skin is so raw and irritated!” My guess, genius, is it has something to do with switching out your exfoliator for a can of AJAX.
3) Children of a certain age will love e-learning. Its like one big online party with all their friends. They pretend to pay attention, but in reality are waiting for the best moment to make a fart joke. That they get to type. Into the classroom. While still in their pajamas. Hilarity ensues and the teacher “mutes” the little clown. Life lessons at their finest.
4) Lastly, it’s a toss up as to who is more disappointed that college campuses across the country are shut down. You or your manchild. Your college kid does not want to be home within the safety and security of his family. And (shocker) you don’t want them around either. He is now an independent adult who should be allowed to make his own decisions. In case you weren’t aware of this – give him 5 minutes and he will tell you. Funny how the college kid definition of adult is straight out of the Bizzarro World Student Dictionary. Makes you wonder if you should get them an online vocabulary course to complete in all their free time.
For now, thank you for your support. Its time to change from my daytime PJ’s into my night time PJ’s and try and convince my kids that just because they can now go to school in their underpants it doesn’t mean that bedtime is optional.
To be continued….
Chapstick in the Dryer 